Films

Guillermo del Toro is fat, awesome

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“I’m going to sit, because I’m fat. I hope you’re drinking stuff.”

These are the first words from the mouth of one of the most visionary directors of our time as he mounts a stage in Portland for a fascinating interview that is supposed to be about his new book, The Strain – but ends up revealing so much more.

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John Waters is narrating a movie about dollhouse diorama death scenes

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Anyone else confused by the above video? I have no clue what’s going on. I know John Waters is cool. His voice is creepy. I see dollhouses portraying death scenes. And then a bunch of real people talking about serious criminal justice issues. Add up all of these and my final reaction is: “Cool. Wait, what?”

According to the film’s website, the documentary, Our Wildest Dreams: A True Crime Documentary of Dolls & Murder, explores a series of dollhouse murder scenes created to train police officers in the 30s and 40s:

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New feature: The Social Network, Howard Hughes, and Mark Zuckerberg

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Fernando Alfonso III takes a unique look at the movie of the moment.

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Is this new trailer enough to convince you to see Skyline on November 12?

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Other sites are drooling their geekdom all over the floor after watching this video. But, I don’t know. This looks like the dirty love-child of some kind of disgusting menage-a-trois between Cloverfield, Independence Day, and Halo 2.

And I’m afraid it looks like the awesomeness of Halo 2 is going to be completely overwhelmed by the shiteness of the other two. So the answer for me is — no sorry, I shall avoid this potential shitfest.

But at least (thank the lord!) I’ve watched the trailer now two or three times, and Will Smith is nowhere to be found.

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New Bollywood film has special effects — Becomes more Hollywood — Therefore: Sucks

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“Bollywood Has Officially Caught Up Bollywood,” claims Topless Robot, waxing all giddy over the above trailer for the new Indian movie Robot.

Topless Robot is usually fantastic, but I’m not so sure about this. Robot doesn’t look much more than a schlock-fest with intermittent singing and dancing — and an over-reliance on circa 2003 special effects.

If a Hollywood movie came out with a trailer like this, we’d all be rolling our eyes. Why get excited because it’s Bollywood? Aren’t foreign movies good because of what makes them distinctive from Hollywood (i.e. plot, characters, pacing, and an under-reliance on special effects)?

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JJ Abrams’s Bad Robot to tackle good robot Boilerplate

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JJ Abrams’ production company, Bad Robot, has picked up the film rights to “Boilerplate: History’s Mechanical Marvel,” a novel of sorts about a Victorian Era robot, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

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Plot of X-Files porn parody actually less-porny than last movie

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A pedophile priest helps Mulder and Scully find a mad scientist who intends to transplant a man’s head onto a woman’s body so he can finally have wild male/female-with-a-male’s-head sex with his male lover.

Or:

Set one year before the appearance of Lilith, Federal agents Dana Scully (Kimberly Kane) and Fox Mulder (Anthony Rosano) are sent to unravel a mystifying series of murders. Their investigation leads them to Eastern Virginia, where they find several locals who seem to have been “infected”. Mulder believes the cause of these infections to be none other than “The Black Oil.” Scully and Mulder must search for answers that will ultimately defy the boundaries of science, the paranormal, and the dreadful spaces in between!

 

One of these is the plot for that last X-Files movie, The X-Files: I Want to Believe, the other is the plot of the newest X-Files porn parody, The Sex Files 2: A Dark XXX Parody (link NSFW). If you saw I Want to Believe you know Mulder and Scully are sleeping together. I wonder if there will be a similar revelation in the parody. I guess we’ll just have to wait until “a guy we know” sees the movie to find out.

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‘Inception’ Explained (spoiler alert)

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If you’re like me, you are still wrapping your head around “Inception,” the dream defying flick from Christopher Nolan. Here are some questions I’m mulling over:

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Ryan Reynolds recites Green Lantern oath

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I’ve never been a huge Green Lantern fan. I’m sure I’ll see it, it’s just not at the top of my list. But, apparently, when a young boy at Comic-Con challenged the film’s star, Ryan Reynolds, to recite Green Lantern’s oath, the actor nailed it. The video is actually pretty awesome. Maybe I’ll have to move the film up on my list of films I have to see.

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Nolan channels Escher in Inception

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M.C. Escher and Christopher Nolan have one thing in common. They both love never-ending staircases.

More than 90 percent of the Nolan’s new psychological thriller Inception is shot in a dream sequence, which is how Dom Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio) and his troupe can do and create almost everything with just a thought. This includes never-ending staircases and the city of Paris (folded in half) …

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