Laser Boobs Are Go!!!!!!!!
Um . . . wasn’t that, uh . . . wait, what? The above clip seems to indicate that the “Ancient Dogoon Girls” are back, and there will be:
- Drama…in 3D!!!!!!!
- Japanese girls in muscle suits and clam shell bras!
- Terribly unrealistic explosions, inside of people’s houses!
- Electric asses!
- Old men dressed as Smurfs, or babies, or something!
- Snarling animal men!
- Lots of cleavage and boobtacular outfits, complete with that “ba-BOOOWM” sound featured in every ’80s high school movie ever!
- And most importantly…LASER BOOBS (“Lazer” is also an acceptable spelling)!
Ok but seriously folks, just what the hell is going on here?
Apparently (thanks, Wikipedia!), this is the trailer for Ancient Dogoon Girl Squad 5, an action/comedy show about a recluse who “finds a strange breastplate buried in the woods. When he places his palm on the breast plate, its design gets burned into his palm while the action awakens a girl named Dogu-chan, a hyperactive yōkai hunter.” (a yōkai, btw, is a trouble-making supernatural power that, like, messes with your shit).
Then, Dogu-chan and the reclusive dude become friends, and stuff.
You can look forward to their hilarious hijinks in episodes with titles like “Big Breasts,” “Rude Odor,” “Crab Laser,” and “Meat-Eating Sisters.”
The series premieres October 6th, so, um, set your DV-Rs! (?!)
I have to go lie down.