Films

Rare Exports — Another potentially awesome Scandinavian horror film

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Perhaps it’s due to global warming, or the worldwide recession, or maybe all those damn Swedish metal bands, but 2010 is turning into a banner year for weird nordic horror movies.

First, there was the Blair Witch-style trailer for The Troll Hunter, a faux documentary out of Norway that followed a band of possible vikings as they chased trolls around cold places.

Now we’ve got the Finnish Rare Exports, a re-imagining of the Santa Claus myth wherein the giant red blubber blob is not a source of toy-dropping joy but is, instead, a murderous evil thing that looks like your average homeless grandpa.

According to variety, Santa’s elves are played by “naked elderly men” which is “are more likely to torment kiddies than give them gifts.” I’m assuming variety forgot a key adjective in describing these elves: “spry.” Or nimble or agile or whatever. Cause, cmon, there’s nothing terrifying about naked old men — emotionally scarring, yes, but not terrifying.

Anyway, now I want to see some animated death match between evil Santa and Futurama’s Robot Santa. Robot Santa would totally win.

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