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So Long, Beer Pong: Four Drinking Games Your Kids Will Play

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At the risk of sounding like senior citizens, we just can’t believe what the kids are into these days.

The New York Times recently published an article about “icing,” a bizarre version of tag that involves the rapid chugging of lukewarm Smirnoff Ice.

Last month, Fox News covered “vodka eyeballing,” an inane practice that’s just as troubling as it sounds.

And perhaps most disturbingly, a Google search and some freaky message board threads prove that “beer enemas” are like, a thing. Seriously.

These recent discoveries lead us to believe that one of the following statements has to be true:
1. The apocalypse is upon us, or
2. Today’s youth are running out of weird shit to do with alcohol.

But rest assured, kiddos. If option 2 is the case, Handshake has brainstormed a plethora of new, reckless, completely moronic drinking activities that are sure to spice up your next get together. So round up your frat brothers, charge your Flip cam, and hold on to your eyeballs. Let’s get irresponsible.

1. Bird feeding
The concept is simple: Your friend shotguns a beer without swallowing, instead holding the contents in his mouth while you prepare to be “fed” like a baby bird. Your friend has mono? Awww snap.

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2. Vanilla icing
Like the original game with two exceptions: Smirnoff Ice is replaced with vanilla vodka, and when tagged, players must stop, collaborate, and listen. Then break things with a baseball bat.

3. Wet willying
Sucking a lightly carbonated alcoholic beverage from a stranger’s ear? That sounds sexy. Or at least it did, back when our ear canals weren’t filled with Zima.

4. Wine tasting
Head to your local artisan cheese shop, pick up some aged brie, Camembert, or a nice smoked Gouda. Consult your local sommelier for wine pairings, then arrange the spread atop a linen tablecloth with some floating tea lights.

Invite over your friends and ask them to wear semi-formal attire. Dude, is it just me or is this Cabernet mildly cedary with a delicate bouquet? Booyah.

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2 Responses to “So Long, Beer Pong: Four Drinking Games Your Kids Will Play”

  1. avatar Vijaya says:

    I worry for kids these days!not our generation though- “icing”people is perfectly civilized

  2. avatar Erica Sanderson says:

    Hahaha, these games are hilarious! But Pong will always be first place in my heart.