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The Five Worst Movie Prequels Ever

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This week, Entertainment Weekly announced a Planet of the Apes prequel is in production. Apparently, nobody learned their lesson from the disastrous Mark Wahlberg remake.  Handshake started reminiscing about the worst movie prequels ever. Here, in no particular order, are five prequels that never should have been made.


1.  Star Wars: Episode I The Phantom Menace

Prequel to: Star Wars

George Lucas, you ruined every boy’s childhood. The original Star Wars trilogy was a confection of delicious fantasy sci-fi. But adding on to this franchise was like pissing directly on every fan’s face. Seeing Darth Vader as a sweet-faced, blue-eyed, blond-haired boy kind of ruins the face of future evil. Still in doubt about this movie making the list? Three words: Jar Jar Binks.


2.  Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd

Prequel to: Dumb and Dumber

The title alone makes us shudder. One idiot meeting another idiot doesn’t qualify for a two-hour long movie. Secondly, no one can impersonate Jim Carrey, other than Jim Carrey himself.


3. Hannibal Rising

Prequel to: Red Dragon, The Silence of the Lambs

Doing a Hannibal Lecter movie without Anthony Hopkins is pure lunacy. And having Lecter played by a pretty boy who looks like he belongs in a catalog for French turtlenecks is even worse.


4. Exorcist: The Beginning

Prequel to: The Exorcist

Are you eager to hear Father Merrin’s backstory? We neither.

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5. Van Wilder: Freshman Year

Prequel to: National Lampoon’s Van Wilder

Ryan Reynolds is a comedic genius, so anyone who tries to follow—or uh, start—his footsteps looks like a fool. The film’s awkward comedic pauses have us longing for Taj. Note to producers: Reality-star Kristin Cavallari’s acting is worse than Tara Reid’s botched plastic surgery.

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