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What’s In The Guatemala Sinkhole? Handshake Explores The Possibilities

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Photo via Gobierno de Guatemala on Flickr

Comments: 8

The world was stunned last week by  the site of a sinkhole in Guatemala that was so large—and so perfectly cylindrical—that it appeared photoshopped.

The question begs: what the hell is inside that giant hole?

Handshake’s top sinkhole team takes a crack at the five most likely scenarios:

  1. A lost dinosaur civilization. Obviously, most giant chasms under the earth are populated by dinosaurs. Whether or not the lost dinosaurs would be accompanied by lost cavemen is unclear. We do know that King Kong could not be in the hole, however, because that’s just fantastical claptrap.
  2. Mole people. As of the present, we do not know if mole people exist. But we can hypothesize about their existence and especially about the fact that, if they do exist, they probably live in a big hole somewhere in Guatemala. What is their culture like? How do they talk? Are they blind? Unfortunately, only the mole people can answer these questions.
  3. China: We know the earth is round, and China is far away. Could the giant hole in Guatemela end up somewhere in China? Have any Chinese popped out on the other side of the hole? That’s what she said?
  4. Dirt: As in America, there is a lot of dirt in Guatemela. Dirt is generally found near the ground, and, as such, it is likely to be in the vicinity of most holes and other hole-like structures.
  5. American tourists. Somewhere, deep down in that horrid chasm, there are middle-aged white people, wearing fanny packs and taking pictures.

What’s your theory?

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8 Responses to “What’s In The Guatemala Sinkhole? Handshake Explores The Possibilities”

  1. avatar kelly says:

    I think it might be a sandworm. Possibly looking for spice. There is probably spice in Guatemala.

  2. avatar Nick Feely says:

    Rue McClanahan is simply hiding in there. In bad taste? Probably. Do I care? Definitely not.

  3. avatar Melissa says:

    Lost icons of pop culture: Elvis, Michael Jackson, Patrick Swayze.

  4. avatar Adam Popescu says:

    whoever made that thing really knew how to dig….some kind of alien rodent i’m thinking…

  5. avatar Garrick Otero says:

    Lady Gaga’s musical talent.

  6. avatar Garrick Otero says:

    And a bear.

  7. avatar Kevin Morris says:

    @Adam

    Interesting idea. Tiago postulated it was aliens with lasers.

    Alien rodent robots with lasers?

  8. avatar Paul says:

    Um, Garrick, I’m pretty sure Lady GaGa’s talent has been unearthed since early 2009. Just sayin’